KIT Newsletter Aug-Sept 1995 Volume VII #8-9

The KIT Newsletter, an Activity of the KIT Information Service, a Project of The Peregrine Foundation

P.O. Box 460141 / San Francisco, CA 94146-0141 /

telephone: (415) 821-2090 / (415) 282-2369

KIT Staff U.S.: Ramon Sender, Charles Lamar, Christina Bernard, Vince Lagano, Dave Ostrom;

U.K. : Joy Johson MacDonald, Susan Johnson Suleski, Ben Cavanna, Leonard Pavitt, Joanie Pavitt Taylor, Brother Witless (in an advisory capacity)

The KIT Newsletter is an open forum for fact and opinion. It encourages the expression of all views, both from within and from outside the Bruderhof. The opinions expressed in the letters we publish are those of the correspondents and do not necessarily reflects those of KIT editors or staff.

August-September 1995 Volume VII #8-9

-------------- "Keep In Touch" --------------

Did you miss us? We hope so! Here we are again, after a very adventurous August! You'll read all about it below. Meanwhile, all Peregrines, KITfolk, graduates, survivors, COBblers should consider next summer's EuroKIT 1996 in Germany. This is an opportunity not to be missed! A chartered bus ride from London is being researched. Too poor to go? Unstuff that sock, knock a hole in your piggy bank, and come along. You only live this life once! Oh, and while you're at it, please send us some of your 'socked-away' cash to KEEP KIT COMING! Inasmuch as the changes to the annual address book have been minimal, we are just listing the changes here and not reprinting it, thus saving the extra pages in the double issue this month for MORE NEWS!

---- The Whole KIT and Kaboodle -----

-------- INDEX --------

Andy & Gudrun Harries

Ben Cavanna

Johanna Patrick Homann

Christoph Arnold's trip to Rome

Rev. Sam Waldner

Christian Domer to Jake Kleinsasser

Financial Meeting bet. B'hof & Oilers

Christian Domer to Jake Kleinsasser

Night Watch's weather

Dateline Nigeria

Daily Freeman 'Calm Before

Huguenot Herald 'Banishing Act'

Daily Freeman 'Differences Remain'

Times Herald Record 'Rift Emerges'

Woodstock Times / Huguenot Herald

Leonard Pavitt

Ramon Sender - Friendly Crossways Conf

Dick Domer letter to Daily Freeman

Blair Purcell letter to Daily Freeman

Joel G. Clement letter to Daily Freeman

Ramon Sender letter to Daily Freeman

David E. Ostrom letter to Daily Freeman

Kore Loy McWhirter

Susannah Zumpe

Donald & Joyce Hazelton

Hilarion Braun

Dieter Zumpe

A Child of the Bruderhof

Name Withheld

Jonathan Clement

Hans Zimmermann to Inno Idiong

Name Withheld

Bette Bohlken-Zumpe

Ruth Baer Lambach

Johnny Robinson by Bette Bohlken-Zumpe

Adolf Braun by Migg Fischli

Margarethe Boning by Bette Bohlken-Zumpe

Ramon Sender - 'How I Escaped f/ The B'hof'

Ethan Martin

Cults In Our Midst book review

Andy and Gudrun Harries: Hi folks! This is a reminder about next year's KIT conference, July 26-29, in Worpswede! If at all possible, please book by October, 1995 with a deposit of DM 50, Ł25 or $40. If you have problems, please contact the appropriate representative and discuss it with them. Also, if you are not sure whether you can come, contact whomever is your area representative person and tell them so that we can work out how many places to book. Late bookings may have to make their own arrangements. All the relevant details are on Page 1 of the June 1995 KIT Newsletter. One correction: the nearest railway station, Osterholz Scharmbeck is 12 (twelve) kilometers from Worpswede, not 72 as published in KIT! [It's that European '1' again - ed]

Ben Cavanna, 8/31/95: Dear KIT, I am recovering from my two weeks in the U.S. and trying to understand all I experienced there. Thank you to all who were so hospitable - you know who you are, and it was good to meet so many and get to know you better.

The Kingston meeting with the Bruderhof representatives Joe Keiderling and Christian Domer was interesting and somewhat illuminating if a little frustrating. I will try to give my version, others will have their own perspective.

Mike Leblanc, Andy Bazely, Margot Wegner Purcell, Joy Johnson MacDonald, and myself met Joe and Christian at the Kingston Holiday Inn for a buffet lunch in a private room that Joe had arranged. We split the cost of the meal and room with the Bruderhof, and had quite a relaxed time eating and reminiscing and sying hi. Then we started the meeting and agreed that we would listen to each other and not interrupt anyone untill they had finished their thought. This worked well and is something that we do well anyway and is a Bruderhof style I guess.

Joe kicked off by saying that they wanted to assure us that Christian had never threatened to kill anyone and would not do such a thing. Andy then brought up his experience of the day before of having been physically threatened while visiting his Mother at Woodcrest, and we went round that for a bit. Joy pitched in and said she found the story to be inhuman that people could treat someone this way who was visiting his dying mother.

Christian brought up his concern that they needed to treat us differently according to whether we had made vows or not, and that it made a difference as to what relationship they could have with a person. Mike challenged this asking about people who had been sent away, but they did not give us a clear answer on this, and kept coming back to it making a diference whether we had made a vow or not, and that if they let someone off their vow, it would diminish the vows that faithful members kept often in great difficulty.

Tom Atkinson turned up part way through the meeting and none of us COB recognised him, thinking he had wandered in lost. We had not expected him but when he left, Christian said who he was. I went out after him and he came and joined the second half of the meeting. Both he and Mike challenged Joe and Christian on the basis of their beliefs, Tom saying that the Bruderhof vows were not scriptural in that they put the Bruderhof before Christ. This did not go down too well.

There were a number of other issues that came up, but it was at least good to get a picture of what their concerns were. These seemed to me to be: Their right to protect themselves from attack and people coming onto their property uninvited. Their desire to be left alone to follow their own destiny. Their right to protect their good name and standing with local people. To put right the lies that KIT tells about them.

We all agreed that there would be some hope of further meetings being useful, and it was suggested by us that we have a meeting the following day after breakfast. They said they would have to check back and let us know. We ran over by about half an hour and had to stop because we were due at the Press Conference.

Glen Swinger, Joe and Christian were at the Press Copnference and spent quite a bit of time talking to the various members of the press before we started. I had a little chat with Glen before we started and he seemed pretty relaxed.

I gave a short resume of who COB were and introduced Andy who told his story, then Margot spoke and we were asked questions by the press and public. During Andy's speech I was called off the podium by Blair who asked if the president of the board of the church we were in could make a statement and ask about an incident at the church the previous day which looked like it might have been an attempt by the Bruderhof to bug the Church. I said that they needed to put such a question to the Bruderhof representatives, and that it would be alright for them to respond. A short while later while Andy was still speaking, Christian, Joe and Glen got up from their seats and Christian called me from the podium and told me they were leaving as they could not stand to hear any more of Andy's lies. I told him that the president of the church board wished to ask a question of them, but he said they were leaving. As they left most of the press followed them and returned some time later. We were asked some good questions and were informed of the 'attempted bugging'. After we had ended, the TV crew asked me to go up to Woodcrest with them to see if I would be let onto the property, but I declined as it did not seem appropriate.

Later we had a nice time hanging out at the church and ordered pizza in and met up with more KIT folk from the local area, some not so local. This metamorphosed into a COB meeting with everyone there saying what they wanted from COB.

When I got back to the motel there was a message from Christian to call him early the following morning which I did. He was a little shocked that we had gone ahead with the Press Conference after our lunch meeting, but I told him that we had not had a definite yes from them on the lunch meeting until one week previous, and thus had to continue with the Press conference. Joe came on the line too and we talked for about and hour (actually I didn't do much talking just trying to listen). The upshot of this was that they did not want to meet again at that point, as they were exhausted by all they had heard, and we agreed to be in contact again.

Most of KIT conference at Friendly Crossways seemed to be taken up with COB discussions and they seem to boil down to this.

Who is eligible for membership, only those born or raised in the Bruderhof or all who have had contact with the Bruderhof?

What will COB do?

Will it be a support group mechanism for defined groups? Will it attempt to focalize communication with the Bruderhof?

Will COB work to establish contact rights with friends and family in and out of the Bruderhof?

Will COB provide support system for leavers for from the Children of the Bruderhof. phone line etc?

How will COB be structured, in a hierarchical or non- hierarchical form?

A steering group were elected to come up with firm proposals on all the above. They are Loy McWhirter, Ben Cavanna, Margot Wegner Purcell, Joanie Pavitt Taylor, Mike Leblanc, Faith Tsukroff and Charlie Lamar. Contact these people and lobby them for what you want out of the group, what you are prepared to put into it, and how it should be structured.

As a group we will be reporting back with firm proposals. Hope to hear from you,

Johanna Patrick Homann, 8/14/95: Trip to the East Coast, B'hof and KIT '95. We left July 22 and I drove all the way to Indiana while Andy [Bazeley - ed] napped in the back of the van on a sleeping bag. We had checked out renting a car-top carrier to make room for the sleeping space, but ended up buying one at the same cost of the rental charge. Andy then drove for several more hours until we stopped for the night. The weather was cloudy and fairly cool, for which we were grateful as we had temps in the 90's in Iowa when we left. It started raining during the night and showers followed us to the East Coast.

Andy took over driving on Sunday because he knew his way around the Niagara Falls area and we wound through the miles of Niagara Falls commercialism before finally reaching the actual falls. Boy, that really detracts from the spectacular beauty of the falls! We decided to drive to the Canadian side of the falls because they are so much more impressive and I was surprised how easy it was to cross the border -- no I.D. required, just questions about nationality, alcohol and firearms. We had to pay $1.00 to cross the bridge and the same on the way back. Parking was $6.25 American dollars, while going through the tunnel behind the falls was $4.50 each. It was weird that you could pay in either American or Canadian dollars, and of course it cost more in Canadian money. It was a drizzly day and the yellow raincoats that we got with our tunnel admittance came in handy. The Horseshoe Falls were just beautiful and the awesome power of the water took your breath away. We had arrived around 9 a.m. and during the two hours of our stay, the onslaught of arriving tourists from many nations encouraged our departure. It took us over an hour to cross the bridge back into the USA, so I used the time to make some sandwiches while we sang along with a tape of Darvell youth singers. We got some funny looks from the people who were in the traffic jam alongside of us.

Andy drove until we got to the main N.Y. turnpike and then I took over again, not really knowing what speed to drive, as there were some posted 55 mph signs, while many others were covered in burlap bags. Later, I figured out that they were in the process of switching over to 65 mph on Aug. 1st. I was amazed at the miles and miles of beautiful wooded hills and mountains, seemingly uninhabited, as I had always imagined most of N.Y. to be highly industrial and densely populated. Similarly, the scenery along the Interstate systems of Massachusetts and Connecticut was also awe-inspiring.

We decided to take the scenic Rte. 2 from Albany, and I found the narrow, steep, and winding road too stressful so Andy took over again. He seemed to enjoy the challenge of shifting gears and suddenly meeting oncoming traffic on sharp curves. Our ears were constantly popping as we crossed this mountain range, but the panoramic views that opened up as we crested the hills made it all worth while. It was getting dark by the time we reached New Hampshire and we were quite ready to call it a day when we reached the Atlantic Ocean.

The next day's forecast promised rising temps, in fact a heat wave for the East Coast. It would stay in the nineties for the rest of our trip and that, along with the rising humidity and the rising gas prices (from $.99 a gal. in Iowa to between $1.19 to $1.39 a gal.), spoiled some of the fun of being on the road. I was just glad that the van's air conditioner worked well, even if it meant using more gas to run it.

The scenery began to change as we drove into Maine, and as the mountains flattened out, they were now covered with more coniferous forests interspersed with some beautiful white birch trees. The reason for heading up to Maine was to visit Andy's dad and grandma. Members of KIT had been responsible for locating him about 18 months ago when Andy was able to meet him for the first time. We drove to Dexter, where his Dad has a transmission shop, and after visiting for a while we headed up to Dover Foxcroft to see his grandmother and visit some other friends of theirs. We were told that the area is pretty depressed economically, as fewer people vacation there now, so it's tough to make a decent living.

We were able to stay in Andy's dad's mobile home and I heard about how the Bruderhof interfered in Andy's parents' wedding plans two weeks before the set wedding date. They had sent Bronwen's parents to talk her out of marrying Andy's dad and so she had no more contact with him. She had Andy later and had to stay out of the Bruderhof until Andy was over two years old. From what I've heard from Andy and others who knew him and his mom, they were treated as second-class citizens from then on to pay for the transgression of having a child out of wedlock. This really burns me up!!! The community was responsible for breaking up the wedding plans, but have continuously reminded Andy how they have 'bent over backwards' to take care of him and his mom throughout his growing years and that he should be grateful for all they have done for him.

Our visit was cut short because we wanted to drive down to the Catskills, or possibly camp a day or two in this beautiful area before the 'Media Blitz' in Kingston NY. Ben Cavanna and Joanie Pavitt Taylor had hoped to join us for one night up at North and South Lakes, but before that we had arranged to meet Bronwen and her parents off the 'hof for a meal. I will backtrack here. Just before we left Des Moines, Iowa, Tony Potts had called from the community and left a message on Andy's machine, telling him to call back and talk to Tony personally before we left concerning our visit with Bronwen. Andy tried, but Tony wasn't available each time he called, so we waited until we were in Kingston to call. Tony now told Andy that his mother was no longer well enough to come off the 'hof, so they were allowing Andy a one-hour visit to say his final good-bye to his mom. They also stated that I was not included in this visit, but later we decided that I would come along for moral support.

They had scheduled a 3 p.m. time for the visit on Wed. July 26th, so we had the morning free to do some mountain climbing at Katerskill Falls, a place that Andy had scaled in his youth. I had no idea how steep the grade would be. By the time I realized the sheer drop of our descent, it was too late to turn back. I broke out in a constant sweat from the fear of not getting a good foothold or grip on the few rocks, trees or roots available that could aid our negotiation of the sheer rock face, loose rock or dirt. Andy waited whenever he could to give me a hand, but the drop-off usually made that impossible. It was quite exhilarating though, when we finally made it all the way down to the bottom of the ravine. Here I should add that the park rangers would not give us directions to these falls, because several people have died in accidents while trying to negotiate these sheer drops. I relaxed at this point and took a couple of photos looking up at the tremendous drop of the waterfall, thinking that we could now join the regular trail back up to civilization. I didn't realize until we were about a third of the way up that we were negotiating the same type of treacherous terrain on the opposite side of the ravine. Andy then explained, that taking the normally used trail to the base of the waterfall would have taken hours and covered a much greater distance, which would have made us late for the visit to Woodcrest. I was extremely relieved to finally reach the top, and felt quite proud of myself for accomplishing this unplanned feat. A beer at the campsite soon calmed my nerves, and Andy was proud of me too. It also began to rain heavily soon after we got back to camp and I was grateful that it didn't start while we were trying to negotiate the loose red dirt on the way back up out of the ravine.

After cleaning up, we headed back to Kingston along "Danger Road", a very steep winding one-lane road that Andy said was a short cut. We had to drive by Catskill B'hof each time we headed to Kingston and sometimes saw members walking down the driveway. The day before, Andy had driven me up the driveway, across from the 'hof, to show me the lake property they also own. From there we could look down and see more of the buildings, as I have never been to any 'hof, except NMR [New Meadow Run - ed]. Our drive to Kingston was slowed by some heavy traffic and thunderstorms, so we arrived forty-five minutes late. We drove up their driveway and as we parked near the kitchen,. Tony Potts walked towards the van. After we parked he said "Greetings, welcome to Woodcrest." Then, "Andy, I thought we had agreed that Johanna was not to come." Andy explained that it wasn't safe to leave me in Kingston alone and I offered to stay in my van. As they left Tony said, "If it gets hot, you can turn your air conditioner on and if it rains you can just roll up your windows." That felt weird, as it showed superficial concern for my well-being but not enough to offer me hospitality inside. As I waited, I played my Darvell song tape and wrote in my journal. People would walk by and stare; some asked if needed anything, if I was OK, etc. Chris Mason came by with some canned pop and later Tony and Jenny Potts came by with some of Andy's birthday cake. Apparently they were celebrating a belated birthday with his family in his mother's room.

Time slipped by slowly. I noticed that some of the women were not wearing head coverings anymore, while none of the little girls had their heads covered. Some men wore belts instead of suspenders, while others had clean- shaven faces and most people were going barefoot because of the heat. The sky began to darken and looked very threatening. I rolled the windows up as a tremendous thunderstorm broke all around me. A bolt of lightening that I actually heard was followed instantly by a tremendous clap of thunder. Andy told me later that the lightening had struck the Bruderhof and they lost their power but had generator back-up. When Andy voiced concern for my safety, they assured him that I was fine on rubber tires of my van.

Tears flowed as these memories washed over me and they were witnessed by Tony and Jenny who stopped by to tell me that Andy finally had been allowed some private time for a personal farewell with his mother. I felt no warmth from them, just an official inquiry -- did I need anything? Jenny mentioned that my older sister had been in her class -- and then they were gone. Andy told me later, that they kept breaking into his private visit with his mother to remind him that Chris Domer wished to speak with him before he left. It turned out that this meeting with Chris (under the guise of handing over some important papers that Andy had requested from the B'hof, and of which he only received two, so far) was really to warn Andy that he had better tell the truth about his childhood at the Media Blitz the next day, if he knew what was good for him!

During my third hour of waiting, I was again visited by the same concerned sister, who now offered me some orange juice. She now told me that she had nursed her parents at the end of their lives and they had repeatedly said they wished that they could have asked my mother for forgiveness for all that was done to her and our family. She felt terrible for the heartache inflicted on so many and that her life has also been far from easy. The only thing that kept her going was the knowledge that Jesus also died on the cross, alone and abandoned. She then said that there were many others on the B'hof who felt like she did, but felt helpless to do anything about it. I squeezed her hand and thanked her for her love and compassion before she hurried away. I was so grateful for her words and felt that hearing these sentiments was proof that there were people there who really knew and felt our pain.

Finally, three hours later, Andy emerged talking to Chris Domer and Chris Mason, the work distributor. Domer left and Andy was just getting into the van when Chris Mason dashed down between our van and a taller vehicle next to us. He seemed to be ducking as if to hide, but looked into the window and pointed a finger at Andy.

"It was nice that you could see your mother," Chris said. "BUT don't you EVER show your face here again, unless you are invited, or I will PERSONALLY TAKE CARE OF YOU!"

I was just shocked to hear this kind of threat; after all, Andy had just had a very difficult lime saying good- bye to his mother for the last time. So I bent down, looked Chris in the eye.

"I can't believe you can say something like this to Andy right after this very difficult good-bye." I told him.

He started moving to the back of the van saying, "Andy and I know each other.... "but then he repeated the same threat.

We were both in a state of shock and Andy started backing out to leave, when he stopped the can..

"I can't leave like this," Andy said. "This is the third time that Chris has threatened me and I think I should tell Christoph about it."

With that he turned to the right to park in the circle drive below Christoph's house instead of turning left to leave. Before we had even stopped, a four-wheel drive vehicle squealed in behind us in a seemingly threatening way.

"What do you think you are doing?" Chris Mason yelled.

Andy got out of the van. "I think I should tell Christoph about what just happened here, he said calmly.

You get in your car and GET YOUR ASS OFF' THIS PROPERTY!" Chris yelled.

When Andy calmly repeated himself, Chris got out of his vehicle and lunged at Andy, just short of physical contact, his face bright red.

"GET YOUR ASS OFF THIS PROPERTY OR I WILL CALL THE POLICE!" he yelled.

"Please call the police as I would like to talk to them myself," Andy replied. "I was invited here to say good- bye to my dying mother. I don't understand your audacity to threaten me at a time like this"

This really threw Chris for a loop, but he repeated the police threat, adding "...GET YOUR ASS IN YOUR VAN AND STAY THERE. I'M GOING TO GET MY DOG ON YOU!" He stomped off towards a building on our left.

I was really amazed at Andy's calmness. He didn't get back in the car but walked around to my window. I sat there, tears streaming down my face. saying

"I can't believe they can behave like this!" I cried. "How can they call this a loving Christian community?"

Some women were starting to gather outside the building to the left, while a man came down the steps to our right, asking if there was a problem? It turned out to be Ian Winter. After finding out that he was a Servant, we proceeded to tell him that we had been invited there for a very difficult farewell and had been threatened by his Work Distributor, for the third time now. Ian gave no reaction of disapproval for the incident. Instead, he started bringing up Andy's past again.

"We should look at both sides of this," he said. "The community has bent over backwards to allow this visit, as well as through the years when Andy was still in. Andy has caused his mother and grandparents so much pain, and his mother hadn't really wanted to see Andy."

I was outraged ! How could he say such an insensitive, even cruel thing to Andy, knowing the circumstances? Andy responded.

"I know better than that," he replied. "I just spent a very special hour with my mother and I know that that is not true. Either she was lying to me or she was lying to you, or SOMEONE is lying."

Meanwhile, Chris had returned with a huge German shepherd, but when he saw the Servant there, he slunk quietly around the back of our van and tied the dog to his bumper. We asked to speak to Christoph because we were not getting anywhere, just talking in circles. Three college- age males now appeared, standing on either side of Chris. Two wore white T-shirts, their muscle-bound arms crossed over their chests. One wore a necklace. They looked like Chris's henchmen and backed up everything he said. Chris now stated that we were lying. He had never said these things, and his buddies backed him up. I told them that I was taught by the B'hof not to lie, so I wasn't lying. Besides, how did they know what was said, seeing they weren't even there for any of this? After again asking to speak to Christoph, they told us that we would have to call and make an appointment.

I looked an Ian and said, "I can't believe you are standing here so passively and not taking a stand on how wrong this whole situation is!"

He finally stated that it was wrong and not handled properly and repeated it several more times as we continued to press for an 'audience' with Christoph. We were now told by Chris that Christoph had just returned from a long, tiring trip and needed time to rest with his family.

"I... we all will personally tell him about what happened tonight," he added.

"Yeah, right," I replied, sarcastically.

We were not budging and, as we obviously were creating quite a scene, Chris finally backed down, with a red face and his arms still crossed tightly over his chest.

"Okay, this was all my fault," he said. "I apologize."

"Can we just part in peace?" Ian asked.

"Yes," Andy said.

He shook hands. We got in the van and left, utterly drained and in complete disbelief of what we had just witnessed.

We phoned Blair from a grocery store in Kingston, and by the time we headed back to camp it as pitch dark. We sure could have used some emotional support from Ben and Joanie, but they never had received the message of our location, so didn't join us. We talked till late and fell asleep to the sound of the rain.

The next day we finally had a cloudless sky and the sun helped dry out our wet gear. By the time we got down to Kingston, some of the others had arrived. It was so great to see Ben and Joanie again, and then Mike LeBlanc and Margot Wegner Purcell. There wasn't much time to get ready for the private meeting with Bruderhof representatives Joe K. and Christian D. at the Holiday Inn. Andy. Margot, Mike L. from the U.S.A. and Ben and Joy Johnson MacDonald from England were invited to discuss the agenda of COB and hear the Bruderhof's response. The meeting ran long, and we had to scramble to get to the church in another part of town for the press conference. I'm sure that both of these events will be covered fully in this KIT issue, so I'll just give some of my impressions.

Andy, Ben and Margot sat at a table with a microphone, and Ben started by giving the reason for this meeting. Then Andy told 'The Truth' about his childhood in the B'hof, the constant confessions and punishments for minor transgressions, and later how he was shifted from one location to another, feeling very unloved and unwanted. While he was telling his story, the B'hof representatives got up and left, either because they didn't want to hear the truth or because they didn't want to be confronted by the media about their harassment of the church that as hosting this event. Margot briefly told of how she left the communities, and there were questions from reporters from various newspapers and TV stations. I felt that some of the more direct questions pertaining to the B'hof's treatment of its children were sidestepped, probably so that we wouldn't anger them and jeopardize one of the goals, of visiting of family members on the B'hof. When a question was asked, "Was there any support from peers or family when people were being punished or shunned?" I wanted to say, "No, because you would also be punished or sent out if you didn't follow the party line." I could then have given my own family history as an example. I was disappointed when told that time was running out for the news conference, but was able to talk on camera afterwards.

We were all so hot, with the temperature in the 90s, and we only had a few fans circulating the air. Some of the media followed the B'hof back to interview them separately, and I was surprised to read in the next day's paper that Christoph had been available for a statement without first phoning ahead to make an appointment!

We remained in the church, or outside for the evening as others were expected to join us later. It was great to see many familiar faces again and we ended up all chipping in for pop and pizza. There was a brief meeting of COB giving us a chance to voice our personal wishes of what we felt would be important goals for this group. At 10 p.m. we were able to see our news conference heading the evening news. They gave brief extracts of things that Ben, Andy and I had said and also portrayed an idyllic scene of Chris Domer surrounded by children on a grassy slope, giving the B'hof's point of view. We were all pretty exhausted by the end of this very emotional day and decided to meet at a diner for breakfast the next morning.

I called Thursday evening about 1 hour away from NMR and when she came to the phone she sounded guarded. I told her where I was and asked if I could see her and her family. She responded, "I love you very much as my sister, BUT.... because you are involved with KIT etc. etc. We seemed to talk around in circles.

"Jesus welcomed even his worst enemy," I challenged her.

Also, I said that I couldn't imagine any of my other siblings not welcoming me, and that it really hurt to hear that she still wrote to them but had stopped writing to me. That seemed to get her to hesitate and she said she would talk it over with her husband and get back in touch by phone. It sounded hopeful and I waited all evening and until 11 a.m. the following day, but never heard back from her. I also called Virginia Lowenthal Cuenca in Pittsburgh, who was heading out of town for a week's vacation on Saturday, but still welcomed a visit for Friday evening. Andy and I were really excited to see her and her kids, father Wolfgang, and sister Claudia.

The next day we headed down to NMR because Andy wanted to call the minister there to ask if he could visit his relatives there. We drove by NMR and I asked Andy where the Spring Valley bruderhof was.

"Across the road, but it isn't visible," he said. "We could probably drive around the back of it on a state road and see some of the buildings."

We took the next paved road off the road to the Ohiopyle State Park, but after driving down it a ways, we saw a couple wearing B'hof clothes walking way ahead of us. We stopped, thinking that maybe we were in the wrong place, so we backed up to see if there was a B'hof sign at the beginning. There was no B'hof sign as we had seen outside NMR, so we drove back in to maybe ask the couple if this was Spring Valley. As we drove back in, a man was walking towards the open gate and began to close it. We stopped and backed to the main road and, as we turned north, we did see their name in small letters on top of the mailbox.

"It's weird that this 'hof doesn't have the same sign as the other ones do," I said to Andy.

We now went in search of a phone and found one along Rte. 40 in Farmington. Andy called, asking for another Servant he thought was in charge there, but instead got Jacob Gneiting on the line. Jacob immediately informed him that he had just sent off a rebuking letter to Andy's address concerning the lies that Andy had told about his childhood at the news conference. Andy said they were not lies and when Jacob finally brought up specifics Andy asked, "How do you know all this to be true? You were not present." They talked for a long time, mostly accusations of Andy's past and present life, and when Andy asked why they could be so judgmental of us, but we couldn't do the same to them, the line went dead! He had just hung up on Andy.

Andy was also told to ask his relatives directly if they wanted him to visit them, so he called his uncle-in-law, Kevin Robertson. He had the same type of conversation and wasn't allowed to visit. We decided to visit the Ohiopyle State Park nearby and talk over what had just happened. There we saw a beautiful white-water river and a picturesque waterfall. The more we thought about it, the more we felt that Jacob hanging up on Andy was wrong and cowardly, so he called back, asking for Jacob. He was quickly connected to Kevin again, who now proceeded to really lay into Andy, in a harsh, cruel, and very superior way, about his past and his present life. He would not get Jacob and was obviously trying to insult and upset Andy so much that he wouldn't want to pursue any kind of conversation anymore. I don't know why we expected anything different, such as a loving, Christian explanation, or at least some sort of civility. It started storming again, with thunder and lightning and torrential rain, just like it did at Woodcrest. I wondered whether God was expressing his disapproval again.

It took us about one and a half hours to drive up to Pittsburgh, because the rain was so heavy that we had to crawl at 25 mph. We arrived at Virginia's at 7 p.m. and had a lovely evening visiting with her and the family. They wanted to know all about our experiences and Wolfgang took one of our newspaper copies with him to show to Joy. We ordered pizza and talked until 10 p.m. when Claudia invited us to crash at her house in the country. It felt so great to feel so welcome after all we had been through with the B'hof's attitude. We left the next day and headed back to Iowa where Andy found Jacob's letter waiting for him at his apartment. It really is a joke to think how all our efforts at reconciliation with the B'hof were rebuffed, but when we read in this month's Plough, it said, "It would be a great gift from God if Pope John Paul II and I could offer each other the hand and embrace each other as a sign of reconciliation and forgiveness for the terrible persecution our Hutterian Church has suffered in the past..." as stated by Christoph, under the heading "Steps toward Reconciliation." What about all the suffering they have caused and are still causing? Why is it that they are so eager to clean up other people's messes, when they have such a big pile in their own back yard? Also, notice that they are still referring to the Hutterian Church as "ours".

It has been difficult to get back into the routine of life after this eventful trip. My girls survived my absence and are back home with me. Chrissie, 18, is talking about moving out on her own, rather than going on to college. This is hard for me to accept, as I know how hard it is to start back much later in life. I may have to let her find out the hard way, I guess. I start at Iowa State University August 21st, with a one-hour drive each way. I hope to get my Bachelors Degree in Animal Ecology and then hope to be able to support myself. Katie, 13, will start 8th grade one week later, and excels in school, playing the flute and enjoying synchronized swimming. I still love to hear from people by phone or mail, as Iowa feels really lonely at times, so far away from family and friends. It's so great that Andy was able to move here and find a job and apartment nearby. He is great company and helped me get hooked up with the Hummer.

I hope this isn't too long to put into KIT, but I've never really contributed much before. Someday I'll tell my life story.

P.S. Just had a call from Blair with some interesting developments concerning our visit in Farmington, PA. Apparently, Joe Keiderling wrote a strong letter to Blair bashing Andy again with possibly libelous statements. He now claims that the Spring Valley sign was vandalized the day of our visit and he gave our names to the police as possible suspects. We are outraged at this unfounded accusation and wonder how we could have done this deed if there wasn't a sign to mark this 'hof. Is it possible that this act of vandalism happened before our arrival and that they had already removed it to repair the damage? Does this explain why we didn't see the sign and drove down their driveway by mistake?

ITEM: According to The Plough, on June 19 twelve Bruderhofers, including Christoph Arnold, flew to Munich for a meeting with Integrierte Gemeinde members [a Catholic communal lay group - ed], who then flew with them to Rome on June 23. The next day they met with Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger as "a first step toward a hoped-for papal audience... After an informal gathering for coffee outdoors, the group moved inside, where Christoph Arnold began by reading from Revelation:

"'When he opened up the fifth seal, I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and for the testimony which they held. They cried with a loud voice, "How long, sovereign Lord, holy and true, until you judge the inhabitants of the earth and avenge our blood?" (Rev. 6:9-10)...'

"...Prior to this meeting, Ludwig Weimer and Rudolf Pesch, I.G. theologians, had submitted to the Cardinal a summary of our history as well as synopses of our most important books. It was obvious that he had studied this material carefully, and his very direct questions - for example, about the religious education of Bruderhof children - showed a keen personal interest as well....During a conversation about the Pope's intended visit to New York this fall, we offered to fly him in our Gulfstream as a gesture of friendship and brotherly service... "... Referring to the hoped-for encounter with the Pope, the Cardinal said he would like to see something that transcends the usual protocol attending papal audiences: 'We want to stay out of the headlines; we want to be a presence for Christ'."

Rev. Sam Waldner, The Hutterian Brethren Church, Decker Colony, to "Representatives of The Catholic Church," The Vatican, Rome, 6/18/95:

Greetings of Love to whom it may concern:

May it be known to you that you in due time might be visited by Johann Christoph Arnold representing the Hutterian Brethren Church.

I do herewith make clear to you that this Person does not represent the Hutterian Brethren Church of Canada, and elsewhere, despite handing you the Chronicle of The Hutterian Brethren Church.

Respecting your Highest and Lowliness in the Name of Jesus Christ, I Greet You,

Christian Domer responded for the Bruderhof to Jake Kleinsasser, Sam Waldner, Mike Wollman and David Decker, quoting the above letter to the Pope, 7/7/95: "With this communication you make it clear that you no longer consider J. Christoph Arnold an Elder of the Hutterian Brethren Church."

Christian goes on to state that the Bruderhof now understands that Christoph and the Bruderhof Communities have been "formally and officially excommunicated" from the Hutterian Brethren Church, and that "We... will go forward in seeking to live out our understanding of the Gospel of love, repentance and true community under the spirit-filled and faithful leadership of Christoph Arnold."

Follow-Up: It is reported that JCA was furious about the Hutterite letter, since because of it he did not get his hoped-for audience with the Pope. Word amongst the Hutterites has it that Christoph's interest in things papal might be because he is thinking of asking for financial reparations for the Catholic persecution of the Anabaptists in the Sixteenth Century. After all, the Bruderhof received hundreds of thousands in German reparations money, so why not try again! Also, there has been contact beween the Bruderhof and Lewis Farrakhan, the Black Muslim leader, because of their interest in Mumia Abu-Jamal.

ITEM: Bruderhofers and Oilers meet to discuss oustanding financial matters. The following are some highlights of a meeting held in Winnipeg on May 4, 1995, between the two groups: Bruderhof (B) and Oiler (O). Amongst those attending for the B's: Christoph and Verena, Christian Domer; for the O's: Jake and Elias Kleinsasser, Mike Wollman.

O2: If $230,000 is owed by the O's, maybe the B's would accept Oakwood instead?

B1: Who is the Church?...

A prepared balance sheet showed that the O's borrowed $1,872,320.00 by 1985, and by 1992 had paid back $2,391,282.67, an overpayment of $518,962.67. In addition, the B's needed to repay $200,000 that the O's paid towards the purchase of Michaelshof, plus $40,000 donated by the B's to Crystal Spring for a fire loss that had been paid back inadvertently... All in all, the O's claimed that the B's owed the O's $758,962.67

O2 said that the Oakwood colony, who had swung over to the B's, initially had agreed to leave everything to the O's. Later it was decided to move the Acorn Business to the B's. In short, it was "a repeat of Forest River, only worse." O1 said that he saw absolutely no Christianity in what was happening at Oakwood. B3 repeated a few times, "What is the Church."...

O2 said that Oakwood initially had decided to move east even if the O's did not agree....Later B4 wrote that Oakwood now belonged to the B's and was up for sale and the place was being stripped of all moveable items. O1 asked B1 if, when he asked O2 if the O's would take the B's to court, did he do that to assure himself that it was safe to strip the place. There was no answer.

The B's offered to forgive all debts owed by the O's in exchange for clear title to Oakwood... O1 & O3 immediately disagreed because this would wipe out the $758,962.67 that the B's owed the O's. The B's then made another offer: to sign over Oakwood to the O's, with no strings attached. This was then fully agreed upon.

Christian Domer, n a letter to Jake Kleinsasser, 5/16/95, makes some observations about the meeting, especially about how "the Hutterian Corporations 'overpaid' the east over the last several years, a sum of $718,962.67" [$40,000 subtracted from the previously quoted figure - ed]. He states that they will have to clear with their consciences whether moneys "clearly intended as a gift in years past can now be called a loan," and then goes on to say that it is not true that, as it was making the colony rounds, Oakwood was offered to the Oilers because "the West wanted to reduce our embarrassment and get out." He then continues at length about how Crystal Spring made such a big issue of this 'owed loan money,' which they would not 'forgive or write off'," and yet Crystal Spring now had taken over the Palmgrove Community which represented more than a two-million-dollar investment by the Bruderhof. So, "using the same yard stick you used in the Winnipeg meeting, we must ask you to pay back to us our investment in Palmgrove which is well over $2 million."

ITEM: An rumor has surfaced that the Woodcrest Night Watch caught a certain brother putting in too much 'overtime' late at night with his secretary. And right under the Elder's watchful eye! Tch-tch-tch! Well done, Night Watch! Keep a weather eye out for hankey- pankey in those upper corridors!

DATELINE NIGERIA: Last March, the Bruderhof acquired a 'Bruderhof house' on the outskirts of Lagos in the city of Ibadam according to a well-placed Nigerian source. At that time, Danni Meier and Joe Keiderling were in residence, probably overseeing the lawsuit against Palmgrove, since canceled due to negative publicity. Perhaps the Ibadam house will allow a B'hof continuing presence in Nigeria!

Excerpts from articles resulting from the Kingston, NY, COB Press Conference:

FOR HUTTERIANS, THERE'S A STORM BEFORE THE CALM

1,700 Calls Spark Probe; Summit Set For Today

Blaise Schweitzer, Kingston Daily Freeman, 7/27/95

The Federal Communications Commission is investigating some 1,700 harassing calls made to a toll- free number set up by a group called "Children of the Bruderhof," according to an FCC spokesman. Established by former members of the Anabaptist religious group that calls itself the Hutterian Brethren, the line is meant to provide information about a get-together set for today at the Trinity United Methodist Church in Kingston.

Organizers of the event will meet with elders from the Woodcrest Bruderhof of Rifton in an attempt to end the combative relationship between the two sides and because member of Children of the Bruderhof want access to family members who still live inside. Later in the day, members from as far away as California and London will gather to talk about concerns they share as former commune members, according to Blair Purcell of Gaithersburg, MD.

Purcell has handled most of the harassing calls made to the toll-free line. His wife, Margot, once lived at the Rifton site and is a member of Children of the Bruderhof. Some of the calls were traced to the Rifton Bruderhof and other Hutterian communities, Purcell said; others to pay phones surrounding the Rifton Bruderhof. Some callers stayed on the line for extended periods, posing as homosexuals seeking help from the Children of the Bruderhof; others simply called repeatedly, hanging up each time. According to a bill Purcell received, there were 103 consecutive calls made in 49 minutes from a pay phone at the Capri 400 restaurant in Port Ewen.

Making harassing calls to a 1-800 number is a violation of Section 223 of the Federal Communications Act, according to the FCC spokesman, Bob Spangler. Spangler, deputy chief of the Enforcement Division of the FCC's Common Carrier Bureau, said people who make harassing calls to toll-free numbers can have their phone service cut off.

The calls to the toll-free number demonstrated the outrage that Bruderhof children feel about what they perceive as persecution by groups such as the Hutterians, according to Bruderhof spokesman Joseph Keiderling who does not approve of the calls. He also disapproves of fluorescent stickers found on pay phones at National Airport in Washington, D.C. listing the toll-free number and bearing the message:

SWEET TALK --Joella and Karen

are waiting for you -- 24 hours, 7 days.

Asked who might have produced the stickers, Christian Domer, another Bruderhof spokesman, smiled and said: "We have good friends."

Joel and Karen, [COB members] who received harassing calls, were not amused. Nor was Purcell, who said he received death threats traced to the location where the stickers were found. Police at National Airport found the stickers, and a Maryland detective confirmed he is investigating Purcell's reported death threats.

Keiderling finds it ironic that the children who made the crank calls were doing so against the wishes of their elders. Former members of the Bruderhof have criticized the religious group for restricting members' contact with outsiders and for being overly controlling of members' lives. "What they've discovered it that we have a lot less control than they thought we had," Keiderling said.

But Purcell is not convinced. Although Keiderling said Bruderhof children were told all along to stop placing the harassing calls, it wasn't until June 28, when a Maryland police detective contacted Domer about the death threats, that Purcell found any relief.

"Virtually all calls stopped," he said.

...One continuing criticism of the Bruderhof is that it is too harsh when dealing with the sexual purity of its children. That is a criticism the Bruderhof acknowledges. "Absolutely," Winter said, but added that the Bruderhof is less puritanical that it was even a few years ago. But boys, girls, men and women who have left the Bruderhof in the last several years say differently. They talk of being punished for such things as holding hands.

Winter said that children younger than 12 are not punished for holding hands, but "when we talk about teenagers, we may have a problem if it's boy-girl."

"It (hand-holding) gets on the erotic level, and we're into chastity before marriage," he said.

When told that hand-holding among children younger than 12 is now allowed, Mrs. Purcell laughed. "My, that's generous," she said.

Keiderling said he and Domer will be at today's meeting. he hopes to come away from it having communicated the Bruderhof's motives to Children of the Bruderhof -- "and also to convey to them that here is no blanket policy barring people who read the KIT newsletter from visiting."

He also hopes his neighbors won't think ill of the Hutterians because of the ruckus surrounding today's event. "We've enjoyed good friends and good neighbors for the last 40 years that we've been here," he said. "The message that we want to get out, in spite of what some of the allegations are against us, is that our doors are always open to our neighbors. If any questions are raised... do us a favor and ask."

BANISHING ACT

Former Members of Bruderhof Fault Practices of Locally Popular Sect

by Jim Gordon, Woodstock Times, 7/27/95

Members of the Society of Brothers, frequently referred to as Hutterites, are known locally for their simple garments, their sturdy toys and for their community action in the spirit of their deeply held Christian beliefs. But some former Bruderhof [members], as the group's members call themselves and their sect, say the organization has become cult-like, punishing dissent by expulsion, preventing some former members from communicating with their family still in the group, and trying to harass ex-members into silence.

Bruderhof spokesmen respond that the charges are carefully designed to embarrass the group with nebulous claims, having just enough truth to impugn Bruderhof integrity without being truly accurate. Far from being a cult, they stress that Bruderhofers are purposely subjected to the outside world, that they attend public high school, and are carefully screened before they voluntarily seek full membership in the community. They say their critics don't understand the religious framework, or "spirit," which plays a decisive role in Bruderhof life.

Blair Purcell, whose wife was raised among the Bruderhof and whose parents still live in Rifton, where the Bruderhof headquarters is located, is a leader of a group called Children of the Bruderhof (COB), which is scheduled to meet in Kingston on Thursday afternoon, July 27. Purcell says his wife, Margot, and their child have been cut off from Margot's parents. "The reason I am involved is, I can't comprehend a Christian community preventing family from seeing, knowing, visiting each other. It just doesn't make sense," says Purcell. He says the situation is not unique, and that other ex-Bruderhof members are not able to contact their families, while still others outside the group fear they will offend Bruderhof leaders and lose visitation privileges.

Purcell wants to visit his in-laws so that his children can visit their grandparents, though he does not expect that to happen. More broadly, he says he seeks "reconciliation" between ex-Bruderhof and those still living in the commune. He admits that Thursday's meeting in Kingston "is a little bit of in-your-face. But it is the only way we can get their attention." Purcell and his wife express admiration for the Bruderhof's spiritual principles, and Margot has happy memories of life there as a child, before she left voluntarily after nursing school 30 years ago. Purcell says his wife "has a goodness that could come from no other place" but the Bruderhof.

Christian Domer, a spokesman for the Bruderhof, says that in the vast majority of cases, Bruderhof and ex- Bruderhof are allowed family contact. In some cases, such as Purcell's, the family members do not seek any more contact and the community supports the decision. Purcell acknowledges his in-laws requested that he and his family not visit anymore, a decision he believes arose from peer pressures. Purcell "doesn't resonate with the reasons we live together as Bruderhof," says Domer, adding that COB can have a "terrible effect [based on a]... complete misunderstanding of what brings us together, drives us, motivates us."

[History of the Bruderhof and description of toy manufacturing, etc.]...

Outsiders are welcome to join, but face the same demanding road to full membership as other Bruderhofers. They must renounce private property, tobacco, television, pre-marital sex, masturbation and homosexuality so as to cleanse themselves in their devotion to God. Critics say children and teens are particularly afflicted by these restraints, especially those related to sexual awakenings. But Domer says true chastity involves cleanliness of thoughts, purpose and action, and Bruderhof ways yield the committed members a community needs...

The community enjoys high standing locally as a religious group that willingly pays property taxes and volunteers in endeavors ranging from cleaning up the countryside to harboring homeless persons. Recently, members have pressed for a new trials for Mumia Abu- Jamal, a black activist facing the death penalty in Pennsylvania. One member even volunteered to take Abu-Jamal's place.

Despite the Hutterite garb they've adopted, the Bruderhof are technologically sophisticated. Many members graduate from college and bring their skills back to the community. They even own a multi-million dollar Gulfstream jet, which was purchased when the group was trying to open a community in Nigeria. That endeavor has ended, and now they use the corporate jet for a charter business, and to transport Bruderhof officials. Critics say it is a perk of the privileged rulers of the sect. The Bruderhof uses Hutterian designations for its leadership. Christoph Arnold, grandson of the Bruderhof's founder, is the Elder, or highest spiritual official in the sect. He inherited the post from his father.

Purcell says the Bruderhof have a cult-like intolerance of dissent. When his group advertised an 800 number that former Bruderhof needing assistance or support could call, the line was jammed with thousands of crank calls. He maintains those calls came from the Bruderhof and said after Maryland police contacted the group, the calls stopped. Domer acknowledges being contacted by police, but denies any involvement in attempted harassment. He does say his group expects to have "adversaries," adding, "The politically correct people, the ones who would have gone through the roof if Jesus rode a Gulfstream -- that is, the Pharisees -- they are the ones who killed him."

Earlier this year, after the 800 lines became active, Purcell saw Domer and fellow Bruderhof spokesman Joe Keiderling driving by his house in Maryland. "We were in the area on business," explains Domer. But he and Keiderling subsequently apologized to Purcell in writing.

Since 1988, critics of the Bruderhof have coalesced around a California-based newsletter called Keep In Touch, or KIT. The group Children of the Bruderhof grew out of contacts made through that newsletter. Purcell says that it was through KIT that a pattern emerged on non-compliant Bruderhofers being summarily expelled from their communities. He said that ex-Bruderhofers have told repeatedly of being dropped in towns and cities with a small amount of money and the clothes on their back.

Keiderling says the group does not abandon former members. It finds them homes and jobs and tells them help is always available if needed.

KIT was founded and edited by a former novice Bruderhofer named Ramon Sender who was expelled in the early '60s, leaving his wife and child inside the group. Sender was never informed of his daughter's marriage, her two children, or her terminal illness. He said the Bruderhof only informed him his daughter had died a month after she was buried.

Domer and Keiderling looked embarrassed when this incident was raised, and both say they don't now why Sender was not contacted, though they criticize his approach to their community as spiteful. Domer says Sender lives a "decadent lifestyle," and thus should have known his ex-wife and daughter would not consent to see him. Keiderling says the Bruderhof have apologized to Sender for not notifying him immediately, adding that the group "may have made a mistake there."

Keiderling urged people to get to know the Bruderhof. "We are a community that has been here for 40 years. We will continue to try and be good neighbors. our doors are open. We have nothing to hide. Please come and visit us and ask your questions."

DIFFERENCES REMAIN OVER BRUDERHOFS

Hutterians Walk Out After Talks, But Leader Says Hope Isn't Lost

Blaise Schweitzer, Kingston Daily Freeman, 7/28/95

Kingston -- What began with peaceful discussion ended with shouted accusations Thursday afternoon as spokesmen for the Hutterian Brethren East walked out of a news conference at the Trinity United Methodist Church. The event was meant to highlight talks between officials of the religious Hutterian Brethren community in Rifton and disenchanted former members who calls themselves Children of the Bruderhof.

After a calm private meeting between the two groups, Bruderhof spokesmen turned down pleas to stay from Linda Breithaupt, president of Trinity's board of directors. She asked them to publicly respond to questions about incidents of harassment at the Wurts Street church. Bruderhof spokesman Joseph Keiderling said he left the meeting because he was "stunned" by offensive statements made by a former Bruderhof member, not because Breithaupt and Trinity's Rev. Arlene Dawber wanted him to publicly respond to their concerns about a mystery couple, a man and a woman using a Bruderhof car, who seemed to be 'casing' the church days before the event.

While the woman played the church organ after the Sunday evening service, her partner was seen carrying electronic equipment in a bag, Breithaupt said. And the Bruderhof car the couple were using was seen around the church long after they left the building. Having received threats stemming from the church's policy of welcoming homosexuals, Breithaupt and Dawber feared the church might become a target for trouble, so they filed a complaint with Kingston police.

Keiderling confirmed the car belongs to the Bruderhof but said he does not know who was in it outside the church. He also said the car has not been seen at the Rifton commune for several days. He said he does understand Dawber's and Breithaupt's concerns.

"Absolutely," he said. "I apologized to Arlene Dawber. I regret that it happened, not knowing who was involved."

During a question-and-answer period at Thursday's news conference, Ben Cavanna and two other members of Children of the Bruderhof spoke about how women lack a voice in the Bruderhof; how formed members have difficulty when trying to visit family members who remain inside, and how Hutterian children are treated.

"Women are definitely second-class citizens," said Cavanna, who chairs the Steering Committee of Children of the Bruderhof. He agreed with fellow member Margot Purcell that even basic life issues, such as whether to breast-feed a baby, are "guided" by the commune's leaders. The issue of access to family members who still live in Bruderhofs is particularly important to Cavanna. He said he isn't allowed into the Bruderhof's East Sussex, England, community where his parents live.

The treatment of Hutterian children is important to Andrew Bazeley, 25, the youngest member of Children of the Bruderhof. Bazeley, who left the Catskill Bruderhof in 1993, said Hutterian children continue to be "shunned" or "excluded" for minor transgressions.

As a boy, Cavanna was shunned for four months for cutting a peephole in a wall, he said. Not being able to talk to friends, relatives or adults about anything more than basic instructions for tasks damaged his sense of reality, he said.

As men and women left the church Thursday evening, Joy Johnson MacDonald, a Children of the Bruderhof member from London, said she feared the event did more harm than good.

"We say we want dialogue and I think we killed it off," she said.

Keiderling was less pessimistic. "I'll confess I had serious doubts after the public meeting," he said, but added he has not closed the door on future meetings.

"I would always hold out hope," he said.

HUTTERIAN RIFT EMERGES

Breakaway Sect Airs Complaints of Harassment

by Richard A. D'Errico, Staff Writer, Times Herald Record, 8/3/95

KINGSTON -- Mike Leblanc left his family and the Hutterians when he was 17 years old. When one of his sisters was married, a Hutterian asked that he not attend, he said. Now, 13 years later, he's hoping communications between his group, Children of the Bruderhof -- a group of former Hutterians -- and the Hutterian Brethren, who number 6,700 [sic] in the United States, will improve and he'll be able to see his family more often. Yesterday was the beginning of the process.

"The Children of the Bruderhof's hope is that we can come to some sort of negotiations or conclusion of visiting privileges," LeBlanc said yesterday following a news conference held by fellow COB members. "As far as being a Child of the Bruderhof, I would hope that between the two groups there would be some sort of way that they can either set up a fund or joint fund so that people who leave are somehow taken care of."...

Other allegations also emerged. Linda Breithaupt and the Rev. Arlene Dawber of Trinity United Methodist Church said the church was the target of Hutterian harassment for allowing the news conference to occur at the church. Breithaupt said a couple identified themselves as visitors from Ohio who wanted to play the church organ. Later, they were seen circling the church for more than five hours. A police report indicated the car belonged to the Hutterians, she said. The church filed a complaint with the police.

Johann Christoph Arnold, the leader of the Hutterians, called the COB members holding the news conference "poor, disgruntled people who are trying to put the blame on us." He said the Hutterians have also made mistakes. But he said when it comes to visitation, the only ones who decide whether a family members can visit are the family members involved.

Joe Keiderling, a Hutterian members, said he doesn't know who was driving the vehicle and called the incident 'unfortunate.' Regarding the harassing phone calls, Keiderling said the telephone number was announced at a Hutterian meeting for those that were considering leaving the group. Keiderling said he was disappointed by the news conference. "I was very disturbed," said Keiderling, who attended the news conference. "We had met in good faith beforehand with the group, one on one. I felt it was positive. I thought there was some progress made."

BROODING PRESENCE

Bruderhof Members Skulk Around Church Where Opponents Meet

by Jim Gordon, Woodstock Times / Huguenot Herald, 8/3/95

A group called 'Children of the Bruderhof' met last week at Trinity Methodist Church in Kingston in an attempt to unite former members of the locally popular Christian sect and to publicize complaints about Bruderhof ways, which they claim are vindictive. But their presentation was upstaged by the president of the Trinity church board, who rose halfway through the meeting to charge that the Bruderhof had harassed the church after it agreed to host the meeting.

Linda Breithaupt was joined by pastor Arlene Dawber in alleging Bruderhof members had "cased" the church under false pretenses the week before the meeting. They said a Bruderhof vehicle subsequently lurked outside the building until after 1 a.m. Two Bruderhof members, Christian Domer and Joe Keiderling, left the meeting abruptly before they could be confronted about the incidents. Contacted later, they said their departure had nothing to do with the matter, but they apologized to church officials, and confirmed that people in a vehicle registered to the Bruderhof had indeed remained near the church prior to the day of the meeting. They claimed not to know who was in the vehicle or why it was there.

The complaint by Trinity Methodist is one of a number regarding harassment the avowedly peaceful Bruderhof has directed at its opponents. Last spring, Children of the Bruderhof (COB) started a toll-free hotline intended to help ex-Bruderhof members contact peers and adjust to life outside the group's communes. The line received over 1,700 harassing calls in its first month, almost 400 of them dialed from phones inside the Woodcrest Bruderhof community in Rifton. Hundreds of other calls came from nearby pay phones.

ALMOST 400 HARASSING PHONE CALLS WERE DIALED FROM PHONES INSIDE THE WOODCREST BRUDERHOF IN RIFTON.

Stickers have been placed at airports and train stations along the East coast listing the COB number as a free phone sex line. There is no direct evidence tying that deception to the Bruderhof, and Domer and Keiderling have denied any knowledge of the stickers. They did not deny that some of their members have made harassing phone calls, though they said they have no control over it. Most of the calls ended after police and federal officials contacted the Bruderhof.

COB leader Blair Purcell said at last Thursday's meeting that a former Bruderhof official forced out of the group had his phone tapped by the Bruderhof. The Bruderhof denied knowledge of this, but Keiderling and Domer have admitted they were outside Purcell's home in Maryland, where there is no Bruderhof community. They told 'The Herald' last week that they were in that town on business, and were thinking of dropping in on Purcell. They subsequently wrote letters of apology to Purcell...

...At Thursday's meeting, members of COB told of leaving their lifelong home, not always voluntarily, and finding themselves isolated in the unfamiliar outside world, with no money or support from the wealthy sect. They claim that people who anger Bruderhof leaders, even by something as simple as reading the COB newsletter, may find themselves cut off from family and friends still living in the Bruderhof communities. They recounted tales of harsh discipline for Bruderhof youngsters and discrimination against women. The Bruderhof spokesmen contacted after the meeting said the speakers were exaggerating isolated incidents into policies that do not exist. They suggested that, having left the Bruderhof behind, COB members had to demonize the sect to justify departures. The men denied the sect abandons ex- members, although they conceded some end up in bad situations.

COB members said the discipline used on children, including physical punishment, is too harsh. They singled out the practice of 'exclusion,' under which members of any age who have violated rules or who have sinned by the group's standards are shunned by other sect members for specified periods of time, which can last for months. The Bruderhof spokesmen who left the meeting agreed later that exclusion was too harsh for children, but said the practice has ended. They said the sect no longer uses corporal punishment and that current practices are a model for parenting and education. Bruderhof children attend the sect's elementary schools, but enter public schools in the ninth grade. Many go on to college. At around age 20, youth are asked to decide whether they wish to remain as part of the community or leave for the outside world. According to the Bruderhof, about 15 percent decide to depart.

Outsiders are welcome to join, but face the same rigorous road to full membership as other Bruderhof. They must renounce all private property, as well as tobacco, television, pre-marital sex, masturbation and homosexuality.

One allegation the former members made was of "second class citizen" status of women in the sect. But Becky Thompson, a "sister" or female member of the sect and a dentist, said in an interview that she has taken the same vow as males in attaining full membership in the group. "As a Christian and a woman, I can't think of a freer way to live than in a community like this, where we are brothers and sisters together," she said.

Leonard Pavitt, 8/16/95: I have read the various newspaper clippings about the meeting between the two Bruderhof members and the group from the Children of the Bruderhof with interest and not a little astonishment. I quote from The Daily Freeman: "Asked who might have produced the stickers [placed on pay phones making out that the COB 800 number was a 'Sex Talk' line - ed] Christian Domer smiled and said, 'We have good friends.'"

I also thought their statement that they "didn't know who the people were who called at the church in one of their cars" was pathetically unconvincing. Perhaps they could try asking back at Rifton which of the women there can play the organ? They also "said that the car had not been seen at Rifton for several days." As they didn't report this to the police, I can only conclude that they just weren't bothered about it being missing. This shows a sublime detachment from the lure of worldly possession which I find most challenging. It was also very thoughtful of the Bruderhof, as Joe Keiderling was reported as saying, to make sure that "the telephone number was announced at a Hutterian meeting for those considering leaving the group," even if this meant that afterward, as Joe Keiderling also said, "Bruderhof children were told all along to stop placing harassing calls." I suppose that at the same time Christian Domer was patting their "good friends" on the back and telling them to carry on phoning their harrassing calls. This suggests that nowadays the Bruderhof, whilst still professing 'Unity of Purpose,' seeks this through 'Diversity of Method,' known in former times as 'The End Justifies the Means.'

I rather liked the succinct way the Woodstock Times summed up the Bruderhof when it wrote, "Currently, Christoph Arnold, grandson of the Bruderhof's founder, is the Elder or highest spiritual official in the sect. He inherited the post from his father." To use another quote not from the newspapers, "Out of the mouths of babes and journalists cometh forth much wisdom." But the newspaper quote (Woodstock Times) that gave me most pause for thought was the one from Christian Domer justifying their ownership of a Gulfstream jet plane by suggesting that if these jets had been around a couple of millennia ago, Jesus might have used one. Surely he wasn't drawing a parallel between... no, no, of course not!

Ramon Sender, 8/2/95: The Friendly Crossways conference went very well. It was a smaller crowd this year, but it gave me, at least, more of a chance to chat with everyone else, and I had much less to do in the kitchen, thanks to various enthusiastic volunteers. Kathy Brookshire came for her first time, as well as Jere and Katarina Bruner (who visited the other year for a brief few hours). Our sociologist team was there (Ben Zablocki, Julius Rubin and Tom Mansheim) and Dieter brought his friend Ellen who, as a trained conflict resolution facilitator, offered a "Spouses of Children of the Bruderhof" workshop. The U.K. group, Ben, Joanie, and Joy Johnson were very helpful, with Ben reporting on COB and chairing two lengthy sessions Sunday. Considerable discussion was held on whether only those who were children in the Bruderhof could be members. I think we ended up with "children and allies" as members, but Ben will report on this.

It was really wonderful to feel the good energies from the group! I personally found that I had terrific kitchen support this year, and only had to pop in there occasionally. Heidi and Muschi did the shopping and stowing of food, and both were strong presences as co- organizers. Margot, Marlene, Adolf, George and Kerri Maendel were among those whose energies were also much appreciated! Blair reported on the 800 number harassment, and deserves all of our profound gratitude for 'carrying the ball' so stalwartly. Andy told his story, including the story of his visit with his mother and bullying by Chris Mason, both in Kingston for the press. He should be congratulated for keeping his cool until all Chris could do was apologize. Great to see both him and Johanna!

A generous supply of venison sausage, hamburger and corn came to the larder. I leave out some who may not want their names mentioned, but the gathering included Ernst Arnold, Mike Boller, Alan Hinkey and Ena Rosen, Tim Johnson, Lee Kleiss with her two kids Stefan and Kay (both adding a much-needed generational presence), Charlie Lamar (who gave a good co-counseling demo with Ben Cavanna), Mike LeBlanc, Joy Johnson MacDonald, Adolf and Evie Pleil, Loy McWhirter, Joan Nicholson, Faith Tsukroff. Roger and Lauri StrickĐland came for a few meals, and Jessica came especially to see her sister Joanie Pavitt Taylor.

The weather Friday/Saturday was sweltering, the mosquitoes especially vicious at night, Sunday was much better, and Monday perfect. Financially, we broke almost exactly even, with less than $100 profit, instead of the approximately $400 from previous years. This will bear some analysis!

Since returning home, the Bruderhof seems to have stepped up its personal attacks on me, using Rev. Howard Goeringer as their mouthpiece in a Dick Domer letter to the Kingston Daily Freeman. Here is Brother Domer in Letters to the Editor of the Kingston Daily Freeman, August 24, 1994:

Dick Domer, 8/24/95: Dear Editor, The Bruderhof not only welcomes visitors but urges people to visit and see for themselves. When they do visit, they are hosted by a family with whom they have opportunities for free and open discussion.

Decisions of the community are made town meeting style where all members have a voice, including women, and decision are not made if there is any dissent. Leadership in the communities is not inherited and does not rule.

One of the main qualities required for appointment to leadership, which is agreed upon by the entire membership, is "does this person listen to his or her brothers and sisters?"

We appreciate the letters of response many of our neighbors have written after recent publication of allegations by a group called KIT. One of those interviewed at their press conference, who, by the way was never a member or child of the community, admitted to reporters that the event was "a little bit of in-your face. But it is the only way we can get their attention."

Getting our attention has never been the problem. Children of the Bruderhof members can and do visit. But when they visit, it is assumed that they respect their parents and are not part of a group trying to undo or denigrate that for which their parents and siblings have committed their lives.

There have been many efforts to find peace with estranged children and former members, including several trips to California for dialogue with Ramon Sender and other KIT members. But if KIT represents itself as a "company union" of anyone who has ever had anything to do with the Bruderhof, to negotiate terms of human rights, that is not dialogue.

This media event was only the latest in Mr. Sender's efforts to discredit and destroy the work of the Bruderhof. Mr. Sender, the organizer of KIT, was a novice in the community for short time in the late 50's. He left, abandoning his wife and daughter. Underlying his and KIT's behavior of "in-your-face" are two issues: the community's attitude toward sex, purity, and family life and our commitment to Christ.

Howard Goeringer, ordained as a minister in the Reformed Church (now the United Church of Christ), who has served as executive director of a Metropolitan Council of Churches and as minister of community relations in Newark, NJ, has recently written a reply to a critic of the Bruderhof after receiving some of KIT's material. He says, "Incidentally, the founder of KIT and the Peregrine Foundation, in 1967-69, founded two communal ranches, one incorporated as "The Ahimsa Church." This 'low demand environment' church, of which Ramon Sender was the first president, was "sadly" brought to an end by the county officials who had all of the buildings bulldozed. The 'low-demand' communal church of the founding- father-judge of the Bruderhof was himself judged and found wanting even by the moral standards of the world."

Neighbors should know Mr. Sender uses his KIT organization to gather disaffected offspring and former members of the Bruderhof in order to explore ways to put pressure on the Bruderhof to change its character to accord with their moral standards. This includes having people around each locality where a community exists to feed him any negative news items, to encourage news organizations to publish allegations made by members of his network, to influence local officials involved with building planning applications from communities, and to explore the possibility of lawsuits.

Mr. Goeringer goes on to say, "Isn't this the bottom line when it comes to the question of dissent within the community: those who decide to be baptized know what life in such a Christian community means and this is what they choose without demanding individual rights as women, workers, students, or any other of the protest groups a pluralistic society abounds with."

We in the Bruderhof are committed to share our lives, not only with one another, but with as wide a circle as possible, to help bear the burdens of the sad world in which we live. As a circle is drawn by a compass which must keep its point in the center, so in our reaching out we must keep out life based on the center, the living word of God.

KIT: The following letters have been mailed in response to Dick Domer's letter above.

Blair Purcell, to the Editor of The Kingston Daily Freeman, 8/29/95:

In response to Dick Domer's letter of August 24th in which he failed to address the issues raised at the Children of the Bruderhof press conference of June 27th held in Kingston, may I offer the following:

The Bruderhof maintains that, as a "committed" Christian group, they must maintain integrity and purity by distancing themselves from the influence of "evil" family members living on the outside. Yet we all know Christians could not allow themselves to engage in an (alleged) attempt to wiretap a neighboring church or in threats and harrassment, etc. and would not attempt to coerce or intimidate others by means with which former members are so familiar.

IF they do the latter, they cannot be described as Christians. Many ex-Bruderhofers and their families then maintain it becomes impossible for them to claim that status as the basis for believing and carrying out the former.

The motivation for the former is much more likely to be perceived by us and others as cultish behaviour designed to support a power structure for the benefit of a few within who are aware of and condone illegal, immoral and unethical activity. Those few continue to cynically take advantage of deep faith, committment and hard work of and by common members of the group in order to maintain substantial material benefits for those in leadership roles - such as use of jet aircraft for trips around the world.

To allow family members or even friends to enjoy meaningful ties with each other would permit those on the inside to learn of abhorrent behavior by their leadership -- leading to nothing less than the revolution this hierarchy so obviously fears and will go to any length to prevent.

As in any totalitarian regime, responsibility for the current situation cannot be placed solely on the shoulders of leadership; ordinary members of the Community have gradually but willingly abrogated critically important decisions to others in return for "unity" and maintainence of a comfortable status quo. Freedom of religion, indeed freedom itself, has a price the average member of the Bruderhof is not yet willing to pay.

Joel G. Clement, to the Editor of The Kingston Daily Freeman, 9/1/95:

I thought Blaise Schweitzer's coverage of the Children of the Bruderhof meetings was good.

I was born and raised at the Bruderhof and lived there 22 years, including 15 years at Woodcrest.

The question of power and how intentional communities govern themselves is topic of great concern in the Communities Movement. (Refer to Communities Magazine, Winter '94 issue.)

My father was banished from the Bruderhof because he questioned the leadership. I came home from school one day and he was gone. I did not see him or talk to him for 2 years. (I was allowed to write to him.)

I hardly think there was a "Town Hall"-style meeting to decide to send him away. Rather, the Elder and a group of his henchmen did this on their own to squash a voice of dissent. This has happened to numerous other people too.

My only regret is that I didn't begin to rebel sooner against this kind of tyranny at the Bruderhof. Sincerely,

Ramon Sender Barayon to the Editor of The Kingston Daily Freeman, 8/31/95:

I just recently received a copy of your August 24th issue that contained Bruderhof Brother Dick Domer's letter in your 'Letters to the Editor.' In it he attempts, presumably in the name of Christian love and brotherhood, to vilify my actions on behalf of the homeless and destitute of a quarter-century ago by quoting the Bruderhof apologist Rev. Howard Goeringer.

I first I thought it best to ignore Brother Domer's cheap shots, reminding myself, in the words of the Roman Tacitus: "Neglected calumny soon expires."

But since Rev. Goeringer, who never has been a member of the Bruderhof, now has become its champion and is mailing his broadsides far and wide, I felt I should respond.

In the 1960s I helped found and operate two open- door rural communes to which anyone could come and live -- and come they did! We had Haight-Ashbury burn- outs, young men escaping the draft and Vietnam, migrant hobos and itinerant hippies. Probably over five thousand people lived at the ranches over the period they were allowed to exist and I saw some remarkable cures just through allowing people to return to nature, build their own cabins and "decondition" themselves back to who they really were.

I still feel that the answer to the homeless problem in the cities is to provide what I call 'Time Out Camps' for those who do not wish to participate in the urban rat race game. Unfortunately, a few influential neighbors insisted that the county authorities close us down through the punitive use of the health and building codes. However I still believe that we discovered a compassionate answer to the age-old problem: what to do with people who have developed such a serious allergy towards rules and regulations that they prefer to live on the fringes of society?

I would suggest that selected parcels of federal government land be opened to the homeless, who then could build themselves code-free cabins, plant a garden and raise organic vegetables for a living. This is the way we humans lived for millions of years. In my humble experience, this is the best -- and CHEAPEST -- way for some of us to heal ourselves by returning, at least temporarily, to the ancestral ways until we're ready to 'play the modern game' again.

As far as the Bruderhof's closed-door communities are concerned, and indeed they are 'closed' except for the glitzy exterior shown to guests, may I suggest to anyone who interacts with the leadership that they ask the following question: "Do you believe in democracy?"

Their answer might surprise you. You might also inquire further: "Why do your leaders not allow your members the use of the secret ballot in their brotherhood meetings?"

In my opinion, without the secret ballot, tyranny has free reign and minority opinions cannot be expressed without fear of retaliation. Sincerely,

David E. Ostrom to the Editor of The Kingston Daily Freeman, 8/31/95:

I would like to respond to some of Mr. Domer's points in his letter to you 8/24/95. I was at Woodcrest in the period 1955-1957.

1) I took my family on vacation to Ulster County during the summer of 1984. While taking pictures of the covered bridge (Perrin's Bridge) at the foot of the Woodcrest driveway, a car with two Woodcrest couples stopped and the driver asked if that was my car parked on the river-side of the road by the bridge. I responded in the affirmative and was told, "Get it the Hell out of here or we'll call the cops on you!" As we were unknown to each other, I have to pose the question: Is that a welcome?

2) I am one of the "California people contacted...." This is a good example of SOB leadership duplicity and double-speak. My sister and I had tried for ten years to communicate with the SOB, 1961-1971 to try and find out why we were unceremoniously dumped out after the SOB had received the last penny of money from our family. Nothing, nada! We retained an attorney, filing a Fraud and Breach of Contract against the SOB, telling the attorney if any of the Brothers tried to contact us and discover our complaint we would halt proceedings. The SOB response was to retain one of the biggest, most expensive legal firms West of the Mississippi to first deny they knew us, second to deny the SOB contacted us in California 1953-55.

In 1989, I wrote an article about my vacation experience in 1984. Communications were initiated by the SOB at that time, threatening me and my family if I didn't shut up. Mr. Domer specifically made veiled threats about what he could do to me. Three couples did visit here in California, not as Mr. Domer implies in his letter, to meet with us. Rather, "As we are here on other business, we can find time to meet with you."

I called Mr. Domer's bluff and was then invited to Woodcrest at my expense to resolve the SOB problems. I went in good faith and believed progress had been made. However, shortly after the meeting at Woodcrest, Mr. Domer was on the phone to me, telling me how much the SOB appreciated and respected me etc. while at the exact same time Mr. Zumpe was on the phone to his son, telling one of his sons not to have anything to do with me, I am the devil incarnate totally evil! When I questioned this and tried to pursue the opposing statements, Mr. Domer again called me, notifying me the security of my home here in California had been breached by him and members of his family. If I didn't shut up and conform to the wishes of the SOB, he and others in the SOB would use information gained, illegally or unethically, to ruin me and my family.

Mr. Domer incorrectly rambles on about how KIT and Mr. Sender want to destroy the SOB. WRONG! I know Mr. Sender very well, meeting at least monthly with him. As assistant editor to KIT, what I would like to see is the SOB live up to it's full potential. There are many fine, honest people in the SOB. However, the leadership does not fully inform the general membership on many issues, some critical.

Mr. Domer is again wrong in his statement KIT is a "company union". Mr. Domer is noted for his intentionally inflammatory statements. KIT is a forum for people to relate, communicate and understand the experiences of living at the hof and the transition to 'outside society', which the SOB has brutally suppressed for over forty years. COB may be a different issue.

In closing, the next time the SOB trots out it's dog- and-pony show of somber, sedate men walking serenely about the bruderhof, women gaily going about their duties, fresh innocent children playing and singing, think about this and ask questions. Why did a young child die alone, unattended in a car, while his peers and the good sisters were enjoying themselves at the Zoo? Why did Joe Kiederling and Christian Domer sneak out of the meeting at Kingston (that they had pressed hard to be at) when the question of Woodcrest's people being involved in various forms of harassment and intimidation came up? This is but the tip of an ugly iceburg that the multi- million-dollar, multi-national corporation known variously as Society of Brothers, Rifton Products, Hutterian Brethren East, Hutterian Society of Brethren East and other names, would like to suppress. Respectfully,

Kore Loy McWhirter 6/19/95: I've been reading KIT again after having to stop for a good while. I think KIT needs to hear from people like me who have another slant, however obscure. It's the same as some of you think the SOB needs to continue to hear from you to keep them 'honest.' Maybe there's still a way through to understand what happened to us from all perspectives possible. Maybe it will keep others from being damaged or destroyed.

Bette Zumpe's words often stir up in me the same kind of exclusion sense that I experienced in the SOB kinderleute. I can hear you have suffered as you should not have, but the magnitude is no greater than anyone else, just because Eberhard was your sainted grandfather and Hans Zumpe your much-maligned and repentant father. Maybe it's only my over-sensitivity in this matter, but I hear much underlying holier-than-thou implied in your tone. It hurts, and you must know by now that there are many who did not share in the comparative advantages and privilege of those in power positions and their families. I feel some resentment because of this that still divides us because it is glossed over or denied or used for self-glorification that's no longer possible nor necessary among us, from my point of view. I do feel sorry for your family's treatment, but no more than others. And I see no reason for anyone to glorify Eberhard Arnold who started the whole mess with his self-serving, fanatical zeal in the name of god and various other pernicious camouflages. Heini did not come out of nowhere, any more than Christoph (or any of us) did. In trying to comprehend my own father, I see no reason to gloss over his destructiveness. It helps me to understand him, and thereby myself, to see the more whole spectrum of my experience of him and what I learn of his life. In a similar vein, I hope there's a growing understanding that the destruction of records of any sort, or the obscuring (or withholding) of information denies the growth of understanding and healing validation of our experiences in like manner to what Bette has to deal with now and in the past with the SOB censoring the family's letters. It's wrong in any case, and gets in the way of clarifying humyn interaction. It's also part of SOB programming and therefore I don't really blame Children of the Bruderhof (COB, as in the part of the corn after the seed-kernels have all been eaten off and all that's left is the part that people who have little else to use employ to wipe their butts with) who act on that programming without yet being conscious of the consequences, thinking they're doing the right thing. But whenever anyone intercepts or destroys or withholds any information, it denies us of learning our own truth for ourselves, because it is our common history, just like in family. I've had too much of that already. I see no reason to try to protect what's left of the 'good names' and reputations of the power people, living or dead. But especially not the dead ones. I realize they have living families, but so do those who were not so 'well'-connected, and we were all in the same large and closed family system.

It's so sad. But theirs is no more sad than those whose lives were influenced and destroyed by those who had power of choice. I don't see how we can 'Keep In Touch' with each other, much less ourselves, if someone's always trying to protect or defend by obscuring on purpose things that may help someone find their way back from the banishment of mind and body, etc. Nearly everyone suffered that. And one of the big lessons I carry from SOB survival is that knowledge and understanding make power within myself. The more I learn, the more present I become. So much was stolen and denied in my Primavera childhood. Why now?

Everything I read in KIT I learn something from or recognize or have reason to contend with that makes me more resilient. It helps me find more pieces in response, when I can take it. And when I can't, then I can lay it aside for awhile until I'm prepared to see again what I can learn in that context of my life. But there is still so much left out, covered up or euphemized. For example, what is this XXX businsss -- the most feared and hated, by the SOB, KIT-connected person? If you're going to XXX someone over, at least explain why. How can I trace my already obscure herstory if someone's always being covert about it for reasons I can't understand, like in the SOB hierarchic elite? It's control of information for the few. Only the chosen can know. Where is the "Whole Kit and Kaboodle?" The computer-talk scares me enough. How can we be in it together this way?

It's hard to take the intellectualizing and sentimentalizing of the people and system who caused the destruction of the "spirit of the child" (in the body of the child) and some of the actual children, and then blamed the children for the destruction. This is still going on, both 'inside' and 'out.'

I thought the Chip Wilson and Internet-mongers' dialogue was pretty interesting, a piece out of "Anatomy of Breaking A Spirit To Brainwash." Blair was especially sharp at itemizing the particular 'sins' of prideful intellectualizing (keeping your wits about you) and prideful faith (giving your wits to someone else, or mindlessly 'trusting' that you should give over your hard- won consciousness to someone who convinces you that they're closer to some version of god they've colonized {both figuratively and literally} than you may ever hope to be, although they've now deemed it possible for you to try). Still, the whole Internet dialogue ended leaving me angry and sad because, as usual, there was all talk about this White-man chest-pounding torment and 'spiritual' struggle with no mention of the fact that this pathetic and myopic intellectualized idealogue is but another tempest in the teacup of a small mind when placed beside the effects on the children, his or otherwise, and womyn put at the mercy of such self-dramatizing soul-surveillance, and with predictable and much dogumented results. They got him when he was most vulnerable -- Christmas being the most opportune time all around. (I'll never forget my father's annual Christmas torment and my mother's busy bitterness.) Of course, he probably won't see the effects of his blind-sided zeal until he gets spit out the back end of all that starry-eyed ecstasy-burn. But why all the mostly- men in on the Internet-talk didn't notice to bring up the children and womyn, I can't understand. Some were surely themselves torn apart by the father's ideology- mongering. It hurts to see the effects on the children overlooked even now. They and we are the real cost, not the mortal soul of some adult white man. At least they got the chance at one before. Everyone has inner and outer struggles, spiritual and otherwise. Acting them out on and through children is unforgivable. It's far more than an adult's choice to go and get digested by the SOB brain- drain. He will never see what's happening to the children. Jesus was nothing if not a child-advocate. I grew up here, after the bruderhof, in the fundamentalist belt, and I know one can twist biblical jesus and god-words to back up anything, including speaking in tongues and snake- handling (not so far from SOB-usage). I don't think, if there is a god, that she would forgive the destruction of children for any excuse or 'higher purpose' some humyn divined and attributed to god or jesus. No rationale. No excuses. No forgiveness. Only justice and understanding, compassion, learning and more justice. If you are a child of the bruderhof, then at least I forgive you, but I want room to be heard and to learn. If you are an adult of the SOB, I do not forgive you, but I will listen to All you know to tell.

Also, I don't buy this 'sabra' and 'not-sabra' lingo. It's just another in or out thing. And "we" can't call ourselves "children of the bruderhof." Only those who are/were children there are this. The rest is only feigned innocents to me, howsoever seemingly well-intentioned. If you choose to give over your own conscience as an adult, then it is your responsibility, as are the effects on your children and the womyn who gives up her power to stay with you and her children. Unless you were born or raised and brainwashed by the SOB. My father who lived through hell before he fell for the SOB, is responsible for what was left of his power-to-choose and the consequences. That's what being an adult means, as near as I can tell. If we don't learn from this along with all the other things there are to learn from and about, then what was the point of surviving it, I wonder?

6/20/95: More reading of the newsletters.... parting of the waters... The April report about Grandma's coffin made me laugh, and sounded like April Fool's with all its religious blaming, It must have been hard on the real people involved, especially the children. But it sure was hilarious from the outside. Maybe that's how some of these perverse difficulties strike them -- how we do go on about being exiled, and for what traumatic earthy and minute infractions sometimes, in trying to comprehend.

Some of the writers to KIT are eloquent. I loved Susanna's David story. It evokes so much hidden and denied sensuality of being a child in Primavera, and the 'small' tortures of the gerl-children. I remember too falling in love so overwhelmingly and painfully because so much had to be denied and twisted. Surrounded and immersed constantly in such intense sensual beauty, I was always trapped and curtailed at every turn by the perverse rules and training. Broken will. Some connections slipped through, but they were few and dangerous, and quickly cut away. I remember watching some young men breaking a team of horses to the wagon by the butterhouse in Isla when I was seven or so, and falling deeply and hopeless in love and lust with, I don't know which more, the young man who moved too smoothly and sure and gentle, or the horses alive with power, grace and spirit, or the tangible dangers the boys and men were free to be a part of when I had to learn to sew neat stitches and be quiet and ordinary and not too noticeably artistic. (No wonder drawing is my lifeline to this day. And the stranger the better.) Susanna's story is so well-written and painful... easy to imagine and remember by. Thank you.

Often I can't write to KIT how I'd like to, but I have to write however I can to be able to do it at all. It stirs up too much to make it a simple straightforward task, and I do admire those who can. For so many years after the bruderhof I was the sustaining grown-up in my family, as my father came apart and my mother got busy. And after my family, which trained and prepared me well, I became the indispensable caretaker and place of comfort for anyone who got near me. And I was just a place and not a person. When I began to have feelings and responses of my own at all, they were entirely random and mostly wayward rage and despair. Only recently I've learned to cry and usually it only happens when I laugh. It shakes something loose, I guess. I learned it from my daughters. I'm learning how to play now, at 44. I was always good at sarcasm and seeing the sardonic and perverse in everything. One of the times I was raped hitchhiking, I sat by the side of the highway and laughed for a long time before I could get up and hitch to the next place of relative rest. I rested best in empty churches, when they were open, because I could fill that quiet space with my full singing voice. My favorite is the Sage Chapel at Cornell in Ithaca, New York. I sat on the big oak table in the apse, surrounded by the muses in mosaic, and sang out into the hollowed room. Then I could enter the welcoming sound and feel at home and live in it. It was always hard to leave when some choir or organ practicer came in. Someone left me a cortland apple in the middle of the table once.

All the religious dia-tribulations flying between the Hutters and the SOBs seem funny to me, even though I know somehow it will adversely affect all those children at their mercy. I keep them in my mind and heart, as I don't know what else to do yet. I remember well being at the mercy of my father's and SOB's ideological breast- beating and head-banging. I am glad he and some others are dead, because I got fairly good at it myself, even though I have well-seen how it tears vulnerable people to pieces. It's an imprinting thing -- forming oneself after the power ones, as one sees where being vulnerable gets you. Pathetic loss of self and the lively spontaneity of humynity.

Bette's response to the waffling German SOB move is great! Very sharp and non-nonsense. I hear your native wisdom shining through your words. Maybe it's hard to hear about your important family connections and understanding you've retained through that because for me there was no family, even my own family. It's painful to hear about the happiness of others, like Margot's memories, and many other people I've spoken with who had someone in their family who stood by them in some way. So they were able to hold on to who they really were in the face of the bruderhof's destructions of the 'self.' I don't remember this kind of alliance anywhere, and it confuses me and makes the loneliness more tangible to hear about it. But I'm also curious about it. And the well- connected people seem to have some sense of your added importance and meaningfulness that makes the losses more real to me in comparison. It makes the brutality and violence seem more effectively hidden. It's hard to read about the 'jolly times' of such cruel and power-hungry people without some balance. I know it must be part of the whole pictures and all the puzzle pieces fit somewhere. And I know that children are often neglected and learn to make much of what little they have when the parents throw themselves into all-consuming ideologies, as was true in my family. Maybe this is true of others too.

I have come to know some virtuous people in the 'evil outside world.' None made themselves known to me in my lonely and desperate childhood, though I know there were some from the life-stories I heard from others. I don't believe any of those who called themselves and each other virtuous know or knew anything about what it really means, even though they still must hold value and virtue to their families who have some stake in holding out for admiration of them. At least you retained the power enough to even have a family connection, and maybe even love. It's hard to imagine, but it's intriguing to hear about. As I begin to see the courage that's called for to stand and live for what's best about being humyn in the 'outside' world, I see also more clearly (with some growing pity) the cowardliness shown by the adults who joined the SOB and allowed someone else to rule over their own conscience and children. In some ways I'm also coming to understand -- if not forgive. It's a very scary world to keep listening and learning, searching and questioning in. And any time one stands by something that seems right at the time, one stands on shifting ground. But the one constant I see is the native strength and life of children. The methodical undermining and usury and breaking of a child's integrity of body and spirit, etc. is not forgivable, especially as it continues on. And all for the sake of overwrought spiritual materialism of the chosen few to the exclusion of the many. "What profit a man to gain the whole world if he loses his soul?" What is the point of anyone wanting to be held in the loving bosom of a spirit where everyone can't be because some are, for whatever reason, less acceptable than others? P.S. I hope for some support and not all attacks for these viewpoints, which are my own and not those of anyone else who reads KIT that I know of. One can always hope...

Summer Solstice: Remembering the dark in the longest light... 6/21/95: Joy's article on religious abuse was really good to read. I wonder if it will add some clarity for those who still don't get it. John Stewart's article is awful to read because it's so like what my father went through in Isla just before the Big Break-up and exodus. They tore him to pieces, including people he had trusted and loved for years. They left him in pieces and looked out for themselves. He never recovered, and he took it out on his family. Since then, I think of it like how the wandering ants walk over you in your sleep but sting you to death if you move. My father died in so many ways, and his body went on without him. It was so horrible because of the coming break-up and he believed so deeply. He kept trying to stand up to say what he understood the SOB to be founded on, and against the U.S. SOB power-struggle. It must be devastating for anyone who really believes and tries to live by that horseshit. Eberhard's legacy, motives and methods seem not so different from Hitler's and his inner circle of fanatics. It's only that the SOB's haven't yet refined their methods of 'spiritual' racist cleansing that shows enough on the outside as to get the world's attention.

I tried to learn a veneer of the world's ways to survive outside. My father beat me until he wore out to 'take the pride out of me and break my will.' I didn't know how to live in my body, so I tried to live elsewhere -- wherever I could find. I learned that device in the SOB. Many of the feelings I have are those of children encapsulated and trapped in that time in Primavera and between. I begin to see how they were broken by things I don't even know about yet. It seems different (but no worse) than those who had to go out and in and out again, and the yanking around of families by the powers-that- be. For me it was one entirely closed-away and isolated world, and then entirely another with no in-between or back-and-forth. I was nine, so my cognitive skills were subjective. No one talked straight about it. The SOB lied and the parents left me alone to adjust as they came unraveled. I was the surrogate adult for my siblings, but not for myself... what self? There was no one for me. Still this is so. The parents spent their whole lives in bitter denial (mother) and broken longing (father). My siblings don't and won't remember. They americanized themselves quickly and suffered their own hardships because of that. I never really adjusted, being fragmented before I began. I see the over-clear pictures now, or remote automatic stories. I don't consistently understand the pieces together, no matter how hard I listen. It does help to hear how others did or didn't manage. I wish it didn't upset me so much. But I think it's okay in the long run, and I'm working on it. It hurts nearly all the time now. My best defense was anger.

I think about what my parents and Margit [Hirschenhauser - ed] said of the upheavals when they were thrown out. When I read about the relative luxuries and worldliness of the U.S. 'hofs, I'm amazed. My mother always asked for medicines for the children. We got all the tropical diseases and parasites. I remember that, and the constant hunger and loneliness. And how the womyn looked so drained and pregnant and cowed. She said Hans Zumpe came to preach that Primavera lived the pure life of poverty and need of the true Christian/SOB way and they should feel pity and mercy for the U.S. 'hofs with all their struggle with cars and money and other worldly concerns that burdened them. My mother and another womyn in child care spoke out about sharing the U.S. bruderhof money at least for medicines, and how much easier it was for people who weren't living in poverty and need to hold theological opinions about it. Zumpe didn't even look at them, but told their husbands to use a firmer hand; the men should discipline their womyn. It sounds so different in the U.S. and European 'hofs. It's confusing to me at times.

Staughton Lynd mentioned Celo Community where we came after Primavera. Some here were bitter and took it out on my family because they'd lost so many members to the SOB around 1954. This was true of Macedonia too. I knew Norm and Anne Moody's son Evan for many years until he recently died of AIDS. We talked about the effect of their bitterness on the children who were cast out and always glossed over. The children of the SOB and those communities they divided and destroyed (including Kingwood I was born into) remember. It is not going away, no matter what happens. The remembering won't stop when I stop. We are the real witness sisters and brothers. So far there seems to be only always more to remember and put together. As we find and live lives of our own now, so does the long memory have a life of its own. I trust that justice will find a way.

In the mornings, I think I will send this telescopic letter. At night I know I won't. It's morning now. Good journey. Blessed be.

P.S. I enjoyed Ramon's report about his and Judy's Spain trip very much, especially your understated humor.

6/22/95: Here's another slant to the SOB elite and its possible motives... no more wigged out than what They claim. Maybe Eberhard just consolidated (in the disguise of religion) a more reliable form of the class distinctions that were dying out around him in those war years. Maybe, as the master/slave culture in Europe was equalizing ever more, he just sought to preserve it for his family and whomever else proved worthy by their alignment and bloodlines or financial attributes. How could one live as the chosen few in a mass culture where anything can happen... he had to make a closed system with his family firmly at the top of the heap and the inner circle made of those who proved themselves capable of keeping them there.

Maybe he was "killed by the Nazis" because no one trying to be at the top of a heap themselves can tolerate someone else trying for their own heap to be at the top of.

Sometimes it does make me laugh to read how the SOB aristocracy has it explained to the duped minions that the Chosen Few has to have all these special privileges (most of which the minions seem to be too delicate to have to know about) because They suffer so much more. Poor Heini with all that weight of the world on his uncomplaining shoulders. Poor Hardi having to travel all over the world (when most other people can't even go to the klo without the bruderhof's blessing) to raise souls and geld for 'the brotherhood.' I guess They, more than anyone, needed the freedom to talk sincerely (not gossiping, of course) about who should be in or out, who has the evil spirit and who doesn't, etc., within the safety of the loving bosom of Their jolly, gemutlich, warm and long-suffering families. I guess Their larger burdens called for Them to at least have families when others were too in the wrong spirit to warrant the same support. I guess They needed more than others to have somewhere and someone safe for Them to talk with who wouldn't tell the inner circle because They were already in it.

I remember that story Bette told about Hardi and the swaddling clothes, too. How he kept asking in the U.S. for 'nappies' and wasn't understood, so finally he asked for 'swaddling clothes' and was. It says something telling that I know that story from childhood. I wonder if he or his children carry any such funny little stories about my father (not to mentioned uncle) that would have been so lovingly retold down the years as examples of what an endearing, self-deprecating and exemplary personage he was. Oh yes, I'm truly sorry for the long- suffering of the SOB aristocracy that surely justifies Them resorting at hotels to watch football games and to have woodland hideaway cabins with pools, etc., and jet-setting around the world to keep everyone in Their dominion straightened out about the importance of keeping their noses to the spiritually purifying grindstone so they won't be overburdened thinking about all that evil money in bank accounts accessible only to the Chosen Few who've had to relieve those bothersome plain brothers so they won't be tainted by such evils. It does my heart good to know those few have suffered for the sake of the many in these myriad soul-cleansing ways so Their own pathways to heaven on earth are made clear. Surely They deserve at least these small reliefs and the negligible (by comparison) sacrifices of the many lives They reclaim by Their selfless suffering. I'm truly sorry for the tooth-and- nail combat they've had to endure over the years to hold onto that burdensome power and keep it where it belongs so that no one else will have to think about it too much. What a noble sacrifice. Surely They deserve everything They get. Oh, Whoa for the lawyers they're forced to stoop to, to protect themselves from the ungrateful masses They've sadly had to discard on Their way to the glory of Their just rewards. Oh, Whoa, and also Woe. Semi- sincerely,

Susannah Zumpe, 8/14/95: After I had been in the Spring Valley Bruderhof for about five weeks, there was a big Servants' conference in memory of Heini's death or something of the sort -- I really don't know what it was about, but it was important enough to have beloved Christoph there. I was told to ask him if I could stay in Spring Valley for a year. My parents already had said I could, and my sister seemed happy at the prospect of having me there, so I figured it wouldn't be a problem. Christoph was too busy to talk with me, so I wrote him a note saying that I loved it in Spring Valley and it was all right with my family (in the Michaelshof) if I stayed there for a year. What did he think? I didn't get an answer for a couple of days, and finally my sister said that she had been asked to tell me that Christoph had decided I was too young and I should be with my parents. My parents called and said that he was absolutely right and they had a plane ticket for me. I was to leave for Germany in three days.

I was furious! I couldn't believe that he had the right to decide where I should be, and I didn't like the fact that my parents were always 100 percent in agreement with whatever he said. That night I decided that I was going to run away. My original plan was to go to the airport and not board the plane and somehow find a way to get to Connecticut where my brothers were living. I wanted to phone them, but someone was always around, and most community phones don't work for outside calls. There was a dance evening and I told my sister I would baby-sit. I found my brother's number in my sister's address book, and luckily her phone could make outside calls. I first tried to get a hold of my brother Ebo because I always had heard how anti-community he was. Ebo wasn't home, so I tried Chris's, and he was home.

I stared crying and I told him I was miserable and I was supposed to leave in three days and that I was seriously considering running away. He told me to hang in there until I was older, but I said I couldn't handle it any more. Someone walked in right then and I had to hang up. Next I phoned Dieter, and I told him that I was leaving. He said that if I could get off the place, he would pick me up and I could live with him and his wife Patti. I never have felt so relieved and excited, but I also felt somewhat guilty for all the havoc I was causing. I talked to him on Tuesday -- I was supposed to return to Germany the next day. The plan was that Dieter was to leave work at 4 P.M. and he would meet me at the local Pizza Hut.

My last evening on the commune was weird because everyone thought I was going to Germany the next day, but I knew I was leaving the place for good. I got into big trouble that night because someone had seen me talking on the phone and told the Servants who decided to check up on me. I was called down to the Servant's house and they said they knew I had called my brothers nine times in the past three days. They were all very upset, although I must give Cristoval credit for being extremely nice about it.

That night at supper, there was a joint meal held by Christoph who expressed how shocked he was that the schoolteachers were showing the kids so many movies. I thought the whole thing was rather ridiculous, and someone heard me muttering under my breath and it came back to haunt me. After supper, my sister urged me to talk with Christoph about my feelings about returning to Michaelshof.

"He's so sweet and understanding," she said. "He's very easy to talk to."

I was reluctant, but I figured that since I was leaving the commune in a few hours, I might as well. I was told to meet him on the front lawn, and when I got there, his wife Verena was there and she told me he would be there shortly. I told her I wanted to stay in Spring Valley because no one there knew of my sins, and anyway I was the only girl my age in Michaelshof. Christoph interrupted us by saying rather loudly that I had ruined everyone's summer. That was peculiar because most people were quite sad that I was leaving. He started yelling about my calling my brothers, and then he asked me if I had ever thought of leaving the community.

"Most likely when I'm older," I said.

"If you leave, you will get pregnant and die of AIDS," he said. "Then you will burn in Hell with the rest of the world."

His words did not have a great deal of effect on me due to my atheism, but I remember thinking he was overstepping his boundaries, especially when he said that my brothers were all leading corrupt lives and therefore they were also going to Hell. He was also shocked to have heard that I had said the whole movie business was stupid.

"You must make a choice," he said. "You are either for us or against us."

I avoided looking at him because the sight of him made me want to laugh. That annoyed him. He apparently thought I was being arrogant.

I got through his little speech, and four hours later, I was running away. I left the house at about midnight and got totally lost. It was pouring rain and there was a big thunderstorm. I stopped by the roadside and a car pulled up to drop someone off at their house. The driver, who was a women, asked me if my car had broken down or what. I asked her if she could tell me where the Pizza Hut was.

"It's five miles in the direction you're coming from!" she said.

I had been walking for what seemed like ages, so I asked her if she could drop me off there since she was going in that direction. She looked a bit nervous, but she drove me there. On the way, I told her I was running away from the Society of Brothers and that my brothers was coming from Hartford to pick me up. I don't really know why I told her -- she didn't ask. The worst part was waiting for Dieter to come. He had said that he didn't know the area very well, and I just hoped he would find me. After about an hour, two cars pulled up and one of them was Dieter. As we were leaving, he said to the person in the other car, "Thank you and God bless you!" I asked him who it was, because he looked like he had seen a ghost or something. He said that he had gone into a bar to ask directions, because he had no clue where he was. He went up to a woman and asked her if she knew where the Society of Brothers was. She looked at him and said, "You're looking for your sister. Follow me." He asked me who she was and I told him of our brief encounter. We both couldn't believe it! The coincidence was incredible!

Well, I've been living here happily ever after. Of course it hasn't all been roses, but I have never really regretted my decision. I hope everyone has/had a great summer!

Donald & Joyce Hazelton, 8/12/95: Dear KIT people at the Conference. Thanks so much for all your good wishes. We thought lots about you all too. Actually I would not have managed as I am all tied up with oxygen tanks and other things. I have not been out of house for quite a while, since the temp was so hot but that did not mean we were isolated. Our son and wife with whom we live had to go down to Detroit so the rest of the lads took over and kept us company for a week. It was really lots of fun. They are a nice gang, full of good humor. I noticed several new names were at KIT. Some I don't know at all. I hope to hear more about it in the forthcoming KITs! Am enclosing a contribution, wish it was more, but never mind. Every little helps, they say. I will try to write more often. Good wishes to all. Your friends,

Hilarion Braun, 8/6/95: Since Konrad Kluver's story about Konstantin appeared, I've had several letters and telephone calls confirming my own misgivings about it. It does no good to drown in sentimental adulation the truth about someone's life with the implicit assertion that a life other than a "saintly" life would not have been worth describing. I knew 'Tang' when I was a boy in Primavera where our family had practically adopted him. Later, I had brief conversations about him with my parents and others who knew him well and was left with the impression that Tang was living a rather hedonistic life and seemed unable to "stay put." I find it silly to try to paint a picture of someone's life that he himself would have considered nonsense, and I know that Tang had no illusions about his pursuits. Those who knew Tang during the last 35 years may wish to comment. I think a truthful report of Tang's life would be quite colorful and very much a way of preserving history rather than inventing it.

One event I vividly remember is that of meeting up with Tang in the Tuyango where he arrived with several Australians on Christmas Eve and we had a great time together! Tang's penchant for roaming from one adventure to another had more to do with his financial matters than "unfair competition". One of the issues that never seems to surface in any of the descriptions of Paraguayan life is the enormously Baroque nature of it all! It is a sensuous, vibrant Latin culture more influenced by seduction than redemption, full of adventure and beauty and hardship.

Hilarion Braun to 'Dick' at Woodcrest, 8/95: Dear Dick, long before your clippings appeared in my mail I was concerned about Jamal's plight and that of many others. All the criticism of our justice system regarding this case is valid, and the scandal is appalling. The political mood of a part of the electorate and media is one of self-righteousness, scape-goating and vengeance. This movement is sponsored by the "religious right" with a fervor and irrational dogmatism that is reminiscent of the early 1960s in the American Bruderhofe. Remember how hundreds in Primavera were driven from their homes and families without so much as a trial? Then Primavera was sold and the proceeds used to further the goals of the Arnold cult. Your leaders later claimed they had erred, and yet no compensation was made to those who had been driven into exile.

The Primavera and Wheathill mess was blamed in Heini's henchmen who, through their psychotic cruelties, wrecked home and family of those who would not bend. Now you thieves and home-wreckers of Primavera and Wheathill engage in an orgy of self-righteousness, and hand-wringing over Jamal's plight instead of first caring for the victims of your own criminal acts.

No one, Dick, who knows of your crimes, will take you seriously. We, the children of parents who were expelled and who took up the financial responsibility for them and watched their suffering and losses, cannot take any of your observations about society in general seriously. You sabotaged our idealisms, robbed us of parental help and guidance while brutalizing our parents whose only crime was that they would not bend to Heini's will.

You show only contempt for the secular world from which you garner tax support and other unearned privileges. It pains me to write this, especially because you were one of the few in Evergreen who wished me well and gave me hope. I will never forget your acts of kindness. May you and your loved ones enjoy good health and peace, and may the day come when you compensate your refugees whom you deprived of home and livelihood. It would be a small step but an important one.

Think for one moment how ironic this situation is. The German compensation for my parents (for their forced exile from Germany) was paid to the Bruderhof AFTER my parents had been expelled. Not only did the Bruderhof pocket this money, but it refused to consider financial compensation for the theft of Primavera, the home of many who were expelled. Germany, a country not known for its virtues, felt compelled to symbolically write a wrong by financially compensating those who had been exiled. The Bruderhof, on the other han